It's Time to Write Again

Well I've decided to start a blog again. I've been wanting to do this for a while but wasn't sure how or where I wanted to do it. I finally decided on Blogger.com b/c I am familiar with this site as I used to have a blog before. I'm not ready to name that blog as I was completely open to who I was (i.e. my name and such) on that one. It is still up even though I haven't written on it in years. I can't bare to delete all of its contents but I would like to go on it and print out all my old blog postings so I can have them. I will do that soon. 

Anyway, I do not mind telling you my name if you ask but for now I'd like to keep everything under my BostonGreekGirl name or BGG for short. I've named this Blog even Boston Greek Girl b/c that is who I am. I am a girl from Boston, I am Greek and obviously I'm a Girl (woman). I am also Finnish (my mom is from Finland) but Boston Greek Finnish Girl just doesn't have the same ring--flow as BGG does (sorry Mom). I am very proud of both my sides but I won't lie I am definitely more in tune with the Greek side. I think (know) that is because I can speak the language, spent a lot of time there (even lived there as a child for almost a year) and my Grandparents from there were VERY involved with me and my life up until they both passed away. I still miss them terribly & recently found my grandfathers (papou) "Lyra". 

It was something he played everyday and there were times when I was a kid that I would sit on his lap and he would use my hands to play it. As I got older (teenager) I remember hearing the same few songs over and over and over again and how "annoyed" I would become and NOW all I want is to hear him play that silly song one more time

My papou was not an educated man, he came from a small village in Northern Greece but he was a wonderful, caring man who worked hard to provide for his family. He made mistakes but he did the best he could. He and I were bonded from the time I was a baby. I was definitely the favorite (but that was because I was the first baby, child to be born & it was 13 years before my sister was born). I used to sit on his shoulders while he played his Lyra and tap on his head & play the drums. He also had false teeth and we would play this game where he would pretend his teeth were gone and the only way that they would come back is if I gave him a kiss. Then Poof they would appear. I never knew how he did it (well as a kid of course) but I was always more than happy to make sure he had his teeth so he could eat. So I gave my Papou kisses all day long. I am so happy to still have all these wonderful memories and recently I've come to realize I have a photographic memory. I can close my eyes and still see us sitting on the stoop of our house in Athens while my grandmother (yia-yia) was cooking or cleaning or yelling at him to do something haha (my Yia-yia now she was a special lady; more on her soon). I can still see us sitting on the stoop eating Spórokia (sunflower seeds) just talking and playing together. I've worried sometimes that my memory will fail me but lately I don't worry as much. Long story short (if that is even possible with me). I was sick for a long time (again) and my mind, body were so "off" that I was scared but after a lot of research and will; I finally figured out part of what is wrong with me (Celiac Disease, SEVERE GLUTEN ALLERGY) and my mind is not as foggy as it was for the last 2 years. I thank whomever is watching over me (I truly believe it is my yia-yia, again more on that later) that I was able to figure out all this b/c I really didn't know what was going on with my body and thought I would die (came close and have almost died 4 times now and I'm only 38). 

Anywho, (just so you know I go off on tangents all the time so be prepared LOL... hey I'm a girl it's what we do; if you don't like it then well don't read this blog haha). I write like I talk (which is a lot haha). So back to why I'm starting this blog. Well as I mentioned above I was sick for almost 2 years & during that time I was told by countless doctors "that there is nothing wrong with you." I was told it was in my head. I was accused of being a drug seeker & basically dismissed by just about everyone in the medical community. Sadly it didn't stop there some friends & worst of all a lot of family turned their backs on me. I lost my job, I lost friends, family but worst of all I lost myself. 

It was on March 31, 2013 (just 5 months ago) that I had my AH HA moment. The moment when I realized (or rather thought) that I might be allergic to Gluten. I bought a laptop shortly after (early April) and started to research EVERYTHING there was to know about Gluten Intolerance, Gluten Allergy & Celiac Disease. Guess what? I have Celiac Disease, I am severely allergic to gluten. So after 2 years with the last being the worst;with me just about throwing up every single time I ate; not to metion I was dizzy, light headed, disoriented all the time All the while dealing with a litany of other ailments. Plus EVERYONE was telling me "Nothing is wrong with you. Get over yourself, you are just lazy." b/c I was in bed and couldn't do much for that last year. Well all you naysayers, YOU CAN ALL SUCK IT b/c I was RIGHT. You heard me I WAS RIGHT!!!

Then on April 15, 2013 my wonderful city of Boston, MA was attacked by 2 individuals (I will not name them as that only fuels what they want) who were angry at the system and decided to hurt people instead of helping them. No they thought and decided to bomb the Boston Marathon. The 1st & oldest marathon in the country. Then on Thursday, April 18, 2013 at approximately 1:30am (I guess technically it would make it Friday, April 19th but everything started the evening of the 18th) I was awoken to a helicopter literally right outside my bedroom window. It took me a minute to figure out what was going on but I got out of bed & went into the living room where 2 of my roommates already were looking out our front window. What we saw was straight out of a movie. 

You see I lived in Watertown, MA & on Thursday, April 18, 2013 these two people decided to carjack a car, get into a gun & explosive fight with the authorities and drive into my quiet, little, peaceful town just outside of Boston. The older one was killed (by his own brother when he ran him over with the car) before his younger brother made it to my street. There, just after my street on the other side of the hill was where he decided he was going to run. 

What we saw that night was every law enforcement agency you could think of, Watertown Police, MA State Police, SWAT, FBI, Secret Service, Military. There were cop cars, SWAT vans & a military style TANK (yes a TANK w/a big freaking gun on it). Every single one of these men & women also had huge assault rifles (especially the ones in the military). In the distance we could hear gunfire and what sounded like bombs going off. We now know he (younger brother) was throwing explosives out the car window before he made for his escape. What we were witnessing in the wee hours of now Friday morning 4/19/13; was the manhunt for this person. (I can't call him a man b/c no man would do this no he's not really a person either in my eyes {animal is too kind for him b/c I love animals they are good creatures who only kill to survive}. We'll call him POS for Piece of SHIT!).

So we watched as law enforcement hunted for this POS all night and most of Friday. We were on LOCK DOWN. We were not allowed to leave our homes; our streets were roped off and every so often (about once every hour or two) they would "sweep" our neighborhood including our yards. My roommates & I didn't know what to do so we stayed in & talked to loved ones (though not one of mine called except my sister. More on that later...), we cooked (it was so hot & humid that day & we had all the windows closed b/c we were told to do so). We watched movies & TV shows but mostly we wondered what the fuck was going on. I remember thinking, "this is insane, how can this happen?" Watertown went from a quiet town that no one really knew of; to all of a sudden being front page news. We were on all the news channels, we were in all the papers. Social media was burning up with #Watertown, #BostonStrong and so many other hashtags telling everyone "We are here". 

Finally at around 2pm we were told that the lock down was lifted. We were able to get out & be free again. Two of my roommates went outside to get some air & to walk up the street to get some cigarettes. On their way back one stopped in front of our house to talk with 2 neighbors. The other came up to tell us what they found out (which wasn't much. More on that later...). Then all of a sudden 20 minutes after we were told that we were free to move about our day. We hear what sounded like 40 gunshots BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM... in rapid succession. We all just FROZE! We didn't know what to do... Do we drop to the ground, do we run to the window> Oh My God what about the people outside... 

As fast and as loud as those gunshots were they were gone just as quickly. We then we hear police sirens and everything is moving. Everyone is moving and we realize they are moving to one street over from us. Yes POS was found hiding in a boat just one street (one block, a small block not a city block) over from my house. You can see the top of the house from my house where he was found at. Further up my street & the one adjacent to ours; there are bullet holes in sides of houses, trees & walls. It was all too real & it happened right in our backyard. They say when things like this happen "close to home" that it can have a visceral effect on you. I can tell you without a doubt it absolutely did for me.

It was over, he was caught and with that I found my voice again. I decided right there and then that I would NEVER let anyone tell me how I should live my life, or how I should feel. I would never believe nor trust any physician who had me in & out of his office in under 15min with a diagnosis or rather telling me "Nothing is wrong with you." When they know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about my medical history. I would never let any friend, family member, co-worker or boss make me feel stupid, insignificant or not worthy enough; ever again. All my insecurites, fears & self doubt left that day b/c I realized that once again I had survived and no one was there to help me but ME. I'm not saying I was completely alone (I wasn't) I also had wonderful people call me to make sure I was okay. The irony of it all is that most of those people were friends I had lost touch with b/c I was so sick and defeated I could not call one more person to tell them that I was in bed sick & didn't know what was wrong only to have them tell me "well maybe there isn't anything wrong with you." or have another friend get mad at me b/c I had to cancel plans AGAIN b/c I was throwing up; not because I was "ditching" them for someone else. No b/c I was so sick I couldn't take a shower some days, because all I could do was lay down so I wouldn't passout or throw up AGAIN.

No that day when this terrible tragedy happened so "close to home" and just a few weeks before figuring out (on my own) what was wrong with me (once again) that I finally said ENOUGH! I stopped listening to the naysayers and started listening to myself and to the people who had been there for me for the last year UNCONDITIONALLY. Those were 3 wonderful amazing friends. SF, EA, & CR. I will not name them but those three women are my angels, my friends but most of all my sisters. They never gave up hope on me and they called me every single day to make sure I was okay. They knew that "this is not you BGG" the doctors, your family everyone is wrong "we know you and we love you. You are NOT lazy."  

If it wasn't for those 3 women & my will to survive I am not sure I would have this past year. June of 2012 was the beginning of the worst year of my life & June 2013 was when things all started to really turn around for me. Its amazing the changes that can happen in a year; if you really put your mind to it. I am still w/o a job (though I am looking). I am still not quite healthy (but I can eat now). I still don't talk to a lot of my family (but I have reconnected other ones). I still lost some friends (but I have found new ones & reconnected with old ones). My life has done a 180 and I am happier (inside) than I have ever been before.

I am 38 years old. I am a cancer survivor (14 years cancer free since July 22, 2013). I've been through so much in my life not just illness (which sadly there is a long list of medical problems I am still dealing with). I've been told I was not good enough, that I was not worthy enough. The insecurites I felt are no longer a part of me. I now know with all my heart, body, soul & mind that I am not just a survivor but I am also a fighter, I am smart, I am kind, loyal, funny & even witty; but most of all I am ME. I have finally found the power within myself to take back MY LIFE, MY HEALTH & MY VOICE

So watch out world because BostonGreekGirl is back and she is back with a vegence. I will no longer sit here cheering for others and not cheer for myself. I wil always be there right next to you encouraging, helping, giving you all that I have but I will also do that for me. I was always everyone's "cheerleader" but I was never one for myself. WELL ENOUGH is ENOUGH and I am here to say, "WOO HOO life is great and I am finally okay with who I am". 

If you are still reading this that is wonderful. If you gave up a while back well, that is your loss because I think this will be a fun interesting journey reading this blog. I am going to link it with my other social media accounts (i.e Twitter, Instagram and whatever else I decide). I am going to "brand" myself and I am going to be somebody someday. I want to help other women who dont' know that there is so much out there for them. I want to let other women who have been told they are not good enough, or to "just sit there look pretty, don't talk" that it is more than okay for them to speak up and we don't have to be "nice little girls who are seen but not heard." It is time for us to take back our voices, our lives. Our mothers & grandmothers fought for us to have these rights and somewhere along the way we lost that ability. 

We are a society of "Political Correctness" and "Don't say that you might offend someone" Well tough fucking shit b/c it is time to ROCK THE BOAT people. We need to take back not just our voices but everything; our lives, our country, our government, our children. You name it we need it and I plan to be one of the ones on the front line helping to make that change. I used to be afraid to speak in front of strangers (public speaking) but all I want to do now is stand up in front of the world and tell them my story. 

So here we go: This blog is just me and my observations, thoughts and opinions. You'll see the good, the bad, the weird and definitely the crazy. 

I Hope you enjoy!

You can also follow me on Twitter at www.Twitter.com/BostonGreekgirl
Instagram: BostonGreekGirl

Have a great day